art progression - jouissance
Mar. 26th, 2025 11:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
whirmin 2024, i joined a wonderful fanzine called crescendo for the character antonio from identity v, who i've been deeply in love with since 2021. i had a few different ideas in mind for my drawing, but i almost immediately knew which one i wanted to go with: antonio standing drunkenly on a chandelier, pouring alcohol onto flames below him. it was a concept i had already thought of previously and scribbled down with a mouse just so i could remember to draw it eventually.
this is the very first concept, before i had any real composition in mind for the drawing or anything. it was just an idea i thought sounded cool and jotted down.
after i was accepted into the zine, i started experimenting and figuring out what to do. with this second concept, i thought i would try incorporating antonio's violin into the chandelier somehow. i think i remember being adamant that it had to be upside down. the goat head is supposed to bring the devil to mind, a reference to antonio's possession. in this version, antonio seemed to be leaning over the chandelier like a balcony, but had nowhere to stand.
after much agonizing over how to actually draw a chandelier (and believe me, there was a lot of agonizing; i had never drawn one before), i came up with a concept that more closely resembled what i wanted to pull off. i got rid of the violin/goat head chandelier design, making antonio act more like the focal point, and incorporated the devil through hands with chains coming out of them. this is the first concept i showed to the art mod of the zine.
after i submitted the previous concept, the art mod suggested that i tilt the chandelier, which was a turning point for the whole piece in the best way possible. i also tried redrawing antonio's pose and decided we only needed one devil hand.
in this version, i decided to try a different angle, but ultimately decided it brought antonio too out of focus. i redrew antonio again. you can also see the beginnings of the background here.
ignoring the fact that i untilted the chandelier temporarily, i finally put together the beginnings of what it would actually look like. i was still trying to figure out what to do with the fire. i also decided to flip the canvas.
i had a breakthrough with the fire here and had almost finished shading antonio. i also decided to make the strings holding up the chandelier partially snapped to show the danger of the situation. antonio's life, out of control. he swings back and forth on the chandelier, drunkenly aware that the strings have already snapped. after reaching his highest peak, the only way to go is down.
in the previous version, i had already decided i was going to completely redraw antonio, since the way i had drawn him felt off and the art mod suggested that i change which hand he was holding the alcohol in. i also did a lot of background refining.
this is the final version of the drawing, which i titled "jouissance." jouissance, in philosophy, is described as "the transgression of a subject's regulation of pleasure." jouissance is the point at which pleasure ceases to be pleasurable and becomes pain.
antonio stands on a swinging chandelier in a drunken stupor, one hand tipped up to the crowd, the other pouring alcohol on the fire below, which threatens to engulf him. the strings holding the chandelier up have already snapped, yet the strings that bind him as the devil's puppet still hold strong, connected from his hair to the looming presence that permeates his life. the stage is ready, the curtains bound open by chains (as brilliantly suggested by my best friend). his shadow appears as a violin leaning onto his back with the crushing pressure of being the greatest violinist.
the drawing is supposed to represent the chaos and ruin of antonio's life. a sense of theatrical doom. endlessly trapped by others, he craves freedom, but everything he turns to for help binds him tighter. every means of coping, every crutch, every gamble, he always ends up the same: pouring alcohol on the fire. even the violin, the one thing he defines himself by, is something he has always been tied to. no matter, he would rather drown in alcohol and song than pay any mind. dear audience, he wants you to listen and he wants you to see: the great violinist antonio's most fiery performance yet!
this is the very first concept, before i had any real composition in mind for the drawing or anything. it was just an idea i thought sounded cool and jotted down.
after i was accepted into the zine, i started experimenting and figuring out what to do. with this second concept, i thought i would try incorporating antonio's violin into the chandelier somehow. i think i remember being adamant that it had to be upside down. the goat head is supposed to bring the devil to mind, a reference to antonio's possession. in this version, antonio seemed to be leaning over the chandelier like a balcony, but had nowhere to stand.
after much agonizing over how to actually draw a chandelier (and believe me, there was a lot of agonizing; i had never drawn one before), i came up with a concept that more closely resembled what i wanted to pull off. i got rid of the violin/goat head chandelier design, making antonio act more like the focal point, and incorporated the devil through hands with chains coming out of them. this is the first concept i showed to the art mod of the zine.
after i submitted the previous concept, the art mod suggested that i tilt the chandelier, which was a turning point for the whole piece in the best way possible. i also tried redrawing antonio's pose and decided we only needed one devil hand.
in this version, i decided to try a different angle, but ultimately decided it brought antonio too out of focus. i redrew antonio again. you can also see the beginnings of the background here.
ignoring the fact that i untilted the chandelier temporarily, i finally put together the beginnings of what it would actually look like. i was still trying to figure out what to do with the fire. i also decided to flip the canvas.
i had a breakthrough with the fire here and had almost finished shading antonio. i also decided to make the strings holding up the chandelier partially snapped to show the danger of the situation. antonio's life, out of control. he swings back and forth on the chandelier, drunkenly aware that the strings have already snapped. after reaching his highest peak, the only way to go is down.
in the previous version, i had already decided i was going to completely redraw antonio, since the way i had drawn him felt off and the art mod suggested that i change which hand he was holding the alcohol in. i also did a lot of background refining.
this is the final version of the drawing, which i titled "jouissance." jouissance, in philosophy, is described as "the transgression of a subject's regulation of pleasure." jouissance is the point at which pleasure ceases to be pleasurable and becomes pain.
antonio stands on a swinging chandelier in a drunken stupor, one hand tipped up to the crowd, the other pouring alcohol on the fire below, which threatens to engulf him. the strings holding the chandelier up have already snapped, yet the strings that bind him as the devil's puppet still hold strong, connected from his hair to the looming presence that permeates his life. the stage is ready, the curtains bound open by chains (as brilliantly suggested by my best friend). his shadow appears as a violin leaning onto his back with the crushing pressure of being the greatest violinist.
the drawing is supposed to represent the chaos and ruin of antonio's life. a sense of theatrical doom. endlessly trapped by others, he craves freedom, but everything he turns to for help binds him tighter. every means of coping, every crutch, every gamble, he always ends up the same: pouring alcohol on the fire. even the violin, the one thing he defines himself by, is something he has always been tied to. no matter, he would rather drown in alcohol and song than pay any mind. dear audience, he wants you to listen and he wants you to see: the great violinist antonio's most fiery performance yet!